This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I can text with my tongue
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
