miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
