Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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