Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
