You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Holy shit dude........stairs
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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