at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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