she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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