around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize