So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You can't motorboat a personality
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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