It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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