Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
