So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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