fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
