shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just puked most of my soul out..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
