worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
soo... how was my night?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
