Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
