To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
