She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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