Do you still have your period?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
