I didn't shave. On purpose
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize