it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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