WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
