Who wears a wallet chain?!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
