you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
