just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
