Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
