just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
