You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
