i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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