I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
