yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
