mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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