i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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