I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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