it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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