what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
