First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
