i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
