i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
