u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
