It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
