I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
