happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
