whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
