I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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