Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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