i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
