Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
