Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Every concussion has its silver lining
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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