i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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