it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
