if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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