new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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