the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
These tits shall not be calmed
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize