i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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