There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
