Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
