i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
