I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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