We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
