the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
