miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
