Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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