the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
