We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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