Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
