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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...

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• (626): View more from California

  This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side

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• (518): View more from New York

  I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest

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