I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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