ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
