I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
