tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
