I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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