ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
