I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize