so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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