you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
